Monthly Progress Report #1 (Jan.)

I made some resolutions at the end of last year and here I am, following them up. Don't give me too much credit, though, as it's only been a month.

Monthly goals? I met 1 out of 2, but there were extenuating circumstances (other than me being a lazy asshole).

(1) I did in fact write 15 pages of Beauty and the Beast Redubbed, which is a little side project I'm not taking too seriously yet. I started out with the idea that I would create an entire alternate soundtrack (dialogue, score, musical numbers), the parameters being that I could use any SFX or music available to me (or write and record my own) but I am not allowed to watch the film with sound. I was a big fan of the movie growing up, seeing it as a preschooler five times in theaters, so it's been funny coming back to the movie after a 15-year separation from it. I still don't get what the enchanted objects are discussing a lot of the time.

I haven't figured out the exact angle of the piece. Sometimes my instinct is to have the characters violently cussing their mouths off, but that gets old really fast. My model is "Wizard People," in which a guy with a weird voice narrates all 150 minutes of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." It does the unthinkable, becoming funnier as it goes on. This is because the narrator is consistently compelling and his humor isn't cheap. Likewise, as twisted as my version is going to be, it needs to somehow be able to carry you through the whole damn thing. So I hit a lot of dead ends.

I don't know what kind of beast (har har) this project will be, all I know is it's going to have a lot of Angelo Badalamenti's music in it.

(2) I was going to outline a sci-fi feature narrative that's been kicking around in my head for a few months. I put in a lot of work, but started to realize that I'm not ready for it yet as a writer. The film in question would take place 40 years in the future, revolve partly around people who dress up in animal costumes and have intercourse (the "furry" movement, which is a real thing - LOOK IT UP), and have multiple protagonists.

The problem is I haven't been able to pull off a feature script with ONE protagonist, which is a lot simpler structurally, although I have tried. I spent the summer of 2008 writing a feature about a eternal graduate student who, in desperation, involves his drugged-out stepson in his research. I finished a first draft, submitted it to a couple contests, and got feedback from a Bard screenwriting professor. The script wasn't half bad, but it wasn't anywhere near where it needs to be for me, at least, to be happy with it. I put it aside.

In short, I decided my time would be better spent digging that project up. So, having had 2 years of separation from it, I'm better able to see it for what it is, what works and what doesn't. So far, the revision process has been less grating than I imagined and even enjoyable. They're not kidding when they say writing is in the rewriting.

NEXT MONTH: (1) 15 more pages of Beauty and the Beast redubbed. (2) Experiment with editing 1 scene, fucking around with scores and voice acting. (3) Spend at least ten hours revising my feature screenplay.

There are two other narrative ideas I've had in the last year or so, either I can see being successful, one I would even consider producing and directing on a shoestring budget. Floating around my head doesn't do much good, so (4) getting those 2 ideas on paper is worthwhile, even if it's just a page of scribbling.

Onward,

Mark Zuckerberg, Jr.