A heartfelt "see you later, I hope" from Felipe

Valued readers:

For about a year and a half now, I have been pretending to be someone whose opinion on film making is at all relevant.  As of the time of publishing, you and I both know that I am not.  Since the inception of this website, I have made a handful of shitty videos for shitty contests.  I've put on my best "I'm a professional" face and underperformed while doing paid gigs for local advertisers and graduate students.  I even tried to write an adaptation that was gonna get pitched to pretend producers by a guy who's films I have never seen.  I didn't even finish that, either.

In short, I haven't made anything that expresses anything I really care about.  Nothing in the last two years that I can look back to and feel proud.  Nothing.

Meanwhile, it's not like I've been out exploring the film world, getting an internship or going to film school or taking odd film jobs to learn the business. I still work at the same place where I worked as an undergrad, not doing anything related to film, bored to death, too cowardly to default on my student loans and take this bitch head-on.   

Yet I have had the gall to run around screaming "Go Hard!!" and fill this site with how-to articles and inspirational pep-talks and resolutions to work and criticism of other films, as if I had any right to open my mouth, as if anything that I'm doing right now even holds a candle to people who are out there actually hustling, actually making movies, actually chasing their dreams.  Not to say that it hasn't been fun, but you can only make so much fun of M. Night Shyamalan before it becomes apparent that you're only making up for your own shortcomings.  It's like I'm back in the sixth grade.

It's time to cut the bullshit.  I'm done writing on this or on any film website, at least until I start chasing my dream in earnest again and stop being such a loser.

I want to thank all the readers for their enthusiasm and their feedback.  I specifically want to thank Field Reporter Sebastian for being a great tipster and a really, really good friend.  Same goes to Jenna Malawi, Waldo Ojeda, Victoria Reccoppa, and Chris Hansman (bonus points to him for coming up with our name!).  The fact that you guys read the blog and constantly gave great feedback was often the only reason I kept updating the site at all. 

Managing this blog has been a really fun and edifying experience.  I loved meeting talented people, and I loved watching Shane Black freak out on our comment section.  Honestly, my only regret is that I couldn't do it better.  It's too bad that I'm quitting now, because I was finally going to get a template that looked better than this shitty layout that we have.   I also apologize to you all that I wasn't more consistent with my posting.  A professional would have taken care of his readers regardless of time demands or mood swings. 

I also want to thank all the writers of this site for their involvement.  Thank you, Walter Dempsey, for helping me set up the site in the first place.   Most importantly, thanks to Mike, Mead, and Jake, who have been here since the beginning and through their articles have taught me a lot about film and life in general.   I envy their enthusiasm, their knowledge, their adventurousness,  and their drive.  Reading their articles, there is no doubt in my mind that they're going to make great films, as long as they allow themselves to do it without fear.  Unlike me, they're actually out doing their thing and they always provide at least a small gem of great advice in their articles.   I hope that they keep writing on the blog and keeping us informed on their projects and on their life.

That does it for me.  I might be back to use this as a community pulpit to post an announcement or two, or hype a project, or post videos.  I might even come back with some sort of meaningful experience and have something useful to say for a change.  Or I might not.  The beauty of it is that you'll be able to find out for yourself, provided you even remember to ever check back.

 

Thank you all for a great 16 months.

PS.  Mike hasn't written about it on here yet, but his Goat Blower cartoon was released this week and it's hilarious.  Check it out.